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1.21.2011

Breath the deen




"He will say: 'What number of years did you stay on earth?' They will reply: 'We stayed a day or part of a day: but ask those who keep account.' He will say: 'You stayed but a little - if you had only known! Did you think that We had created you in jest(playful and amusement), and that you would never be brought back to Us?' "

[The Holy Qur'an, Chapter 23, Verses 112-115 ]


There had been alot going on in life that kept me busy. Busy from da'wah. Busy from tarbiyah. Busy from families and friends. Busy from this lovely blogs.


Then i realized, I was never really free in life. just like before, u try harder and harder to fit everything in place. Fulfilling your responsibility in life, at the same time prioritizing Allah in life. But somewhere along the way you just lose that enthusiasm, that drive, and will power to continue following through with it.


Yesterday i heard a word of wisdom from a wise guy which made me think harder on how this life should be over da'wah and tarbiyah and to the call of truth just like the beloved prophet's legacy.


"Akhi, if you are in need of going to the toilet, would you continue your work and wait until a week or two and then only you'll go to the toilet"


Obviously "Nope" is the answer. The minute i said those word, everything just rushed into me out of thin air. I had a total surge of neuron in my brain rearranging my train of thought. That very minute on, I cant hear what he continued saying, except whispers in my brain.


I've realized that this deen should have been made as necessity in life. Just like the need to eat, passing motion and even breath. Although the dire need of going to usrah and other soul enriching activities are not present in a physical sense, but just like breathing, as the air goes short, you'll suffocate and you'll do whatever thing you can get your hands just to breath again.


My dad once told me a story. A story of his college buddy who love to ride around with his big cruiser bike. One day he met an accident and fell into coma for a while. When he woke up, he said this to dad,


"Jamil, do you know what my last word was right before i fell into coma? My last word was "Oh sh*t!!!" instead of shahadah, and if it had been my final one in this life, what will I be when i return to my Lord?"


Just like swearing, it comes as default. As your self disposition. Something that u train yourself which what was before, an alien and isolated from you, then become part of you. It becomes part of who you are. You started off learning to swear, and then it became very often than before, and then one day, something come to you by surprise, all you know its just part of you. You'll swear words by default.


Just like those who kept reciting the word of God. You start of learning the tahlil, tahmid and takbir. Then you do it after prayer very so often and and have the tendency of saying those word. Then after awhile, when you sat for a long time, and you tried standing up and having a hard time getting up, you automatically say "Allah" at the same time you try standing up. It becomes part of your natural disposition. Something which is you.


One morning a brother wanted to give a short soul enrichment talk regarding zuhud. He clearly stated at the beginning of the session which made a lot of sense to me, that this talk will only do good to those who are not yet obsessed with wealth and life's pleasure. Because, you can only react when life come upon you by surprise and by then it was already too late for those who did not fully prepare themselves and did not make this deen apart of themselves. Just like when people come to you by surprise at the back and poke you in the hip, you wont have time to have a check on yourself and decide what your next flipping word will be. It will be spontaneous and off-guard.


When life caught you spontaneously and you are well un-prepared, then you know its too late to train yourself on how should you react, as your next step becomes worst and worst, it'll become harder and harder to get yourself back on track. Just like a domino effect.


Maybe i did not practice myself to make it a dire need until the time come when i really need that natural disposition to be there. To come back and realize it, is truly a blessing from Allah SWT. I sincerely admit I was wrong for taking things for granted and for not truly embedding the muwasoffat(characteristic) of a sincere muslim. Instead i pick and choose. Not in totality.


So just like breathing, when you miss you daily quran recitation, when you miss your usrah, when you miss praying jamaah, when you miss correcting you and your friends wrongdoing, u'll feel drowned and you will do whatever it takes to breath again, and as you suffocate and close to fine line between life and death, you know that mountain of gold and silver is no more of importance because your living is in breathing. That is how you continue living and to continue give meaning to living.


Now, as far away i am from The Most Loving one, i open up my palm and look up high in the sky, sincerely and softly pleading Him to teach me how to learn living and breath this deen.


Breath the deen brothers and sisters. Do not take it for granted. Be sincere forever and always.

O you who have believed, enter into Islam completely [and perfectly] and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy.

[The Holy Qur'an, Chapter 2, Verses 208 ]


Sebuah lagu buat hamba kepada tuhannya!




W'salam,
aj.



4 comment:

Adra Rafee says:
at: January 21, 2011 at 6:50 PM said...

thank you for the reminder.i personally always forget that Allah is there for me as long as i remember Him :)

a.j. says:
at: January 21, 2011 at 11:08 PM said...

yup2! i agree!

Balqies Arafia says:
at: January 22, 2011 at 12:11 AM said...

beautifully written :) I feel a tear gushing down ... dush dush dush

a.j. says:
at: January 23, 2011 at 6:21 PM said...

jangan nangis ye =)