Fool's Errand

Why do I always yearn for what is not mine.
Am i losing faith to those lofty gardens.
The promised land of the faithful one.
Where serene rivers never run dry.
Where blissful rays of light warms up for eternity.
Just enough not too scorch even a slight.
Neither its too cold to arouse displeasure.
Living in majestic castles and owning the vast beauty,
as far as eyes can see.
The sound of the garden that soothes and never grief.
Beautiful maiden playing and singing until heart slumbers into deep serenity.
Eloquent speech that never tire when those beautiful words flawlessly drop
Like drops of pearl and dew.
Knowing it was only versed just for me.
Especially for me.
Playing with friends and families, and beautiful companions,
Heaving away with white horses, the hair is glowing white,
Flawlessly galloping to find resting place under a tree.
Never will i be alone nor disdained.
Never will i be ignored nor disliked.
Never will i be hungry nor thirsty.

For every goodness and beauty in this world there is to combine,
none can match even a glimmering gemstone on the eye of those young child
Young child that will keep me company. Cuddling and running around me.
Joking and laughing all day long waiting for the next good thing to come.
Where next good thing will surpass those feelings in precedent.

And most of all, the ultimate pleasure.
The pleasure of pondering on His Almighty's face,
The One who been giving me life,
Gave me purpose and power in every heart beat,
Bestowed upon me pleasure of smiles and laughter,
Relieving me through tears and heavenly night rest.
Grant me the pleasure of the scent of flower and fragrance.
Seeding loves and sacrifices in Ibu's heart,
so that i may be loved and cared upon,
with endless kisses and hugs with warmth and sincerity.
Soothing me with her calming voice when ever I'm troubled and feeling hopeless.
Nurturing light and goodness in Ayah's heart,
that encourage me through all the struggles,
Struggles in manifesting good deeds,
In times of darkness
In times of insecurity
When people not appreciating nor understanding
and to kiss my sleepless night every Fajar on my forehead
while hugging me warmly and tightly
Easing the hardship of being a faithful servant
Every dawn of the day
And all the goodness and guidance in this world,
Endless Joy and Bliss would be just to glimpse on His Almighty's Face.


Time and Time Again.
We fail and we forget.
We lose hope in what tomorrow bring.
Hasty and insincere we are in life and its pleasure.
We drawn to it like there is no tomorrow.
Dancing and parading in our fake mask.
Satisfied with life and it's deceiving hopes and dreams.
While thousands lay quiet and hopeless in the womb of the earth,
Regretting that their whole life devoted to nothing.
All the sweat, tears and blood of life's trials,
Was only a mirage to the simple truth.
The very fact that every soul shall account to their faith and their deeds.
In front of their lord.


And tonight,
I see fate of mine no different of the fate of those who passed before me.
While my soul perpetually yearning and screaming for world's pleasure.
I am going to let it all go now.
And wake up from those deep slumbers.
Things are going to change.
Tonight, is a rebirth.
Reviving those natural self disposition.
Relieving what was then lost.
To forever live the true purpose of life.
To be a subservient servant of God.
To acknowledge every blessing.
To inspire goodness and heavenly virtue.
Not a rebirth to perfection.
But aspiring to perfection.
For no one may be certain of what tomorrow lies for son of a man.
But God is forever just and merciful.


Forgive me Allah.
You are the most Kind and Benevolent.
Accept me once again.
Purify this tainted heart.
Strengthen me through life's challenge.
Until the moment of everlasting return.

8 comment:

Unknown says:
at: June 14, 2011 at 1:28 PM said...

salam. rindu dengan keluarga, inshallah tak lama lagi akan berjumpa. :)

exam habis esok kan?

Syafiq Afifi says:
at: June 14, 2011 at 11:23 PM said...


Fid says:
at: June 15, 2011 at 2:29 AM said...

Humility indeed is a sign of emaan. Allahu' Musta'aan.

at: June 18, 2011 at 10:27 AM said...

You are so passionate. It hurts to know that you'll never be mine.

hamamu says:
at: June 20, 2011 at 12:23 AM said...

It's beautiful, AJ :)

a.j. says:
at: June 20, 2011 at 10:19 PM said...

BR: Alhamdulillah berjumpa sudah. mcam mana holiday? ok?

Tet: (:

K.Fid: Wallhu musta'an

anon: Let God decides whats "ever" and "never"

hamamu: happy birthday umamah =)!

Unknown says:
at: June 21, 2011 at 2:50 PM said...

alhamdulillah setakat ni ok. memerlukan komitmen yang utuh dan jitu. hehe semoga cuti ayub juga bermakna.

a.j. says:
at: June 24, 2011 at 3:26 AM said...

hmph. gambatte Bintu Rafee Chan!