The Delights of Remembrance

ITNC

2011-12-30T07:01:00.000+08:00

Reh(ab)solution

2011-12-25T01:29:00.001+08:00

Looking for a reason,
To replace what is gone,
Just remember,
remember,
You are never alone.

...

So now as you long for your past
Prepare for your future
But knowing nothings going to last
You see this life is but a road
A straight and narrow path
To our final abode
So travel well O Muslim
And Paradise will be your home

Automatic Control 333 - Lecture 1

2011-12-23T16:53:00.003+08:00

Walter J. Karplus world renown System and Computing Modeller once said,

"All real-world systems have a myriad of physical, biological, economic, aesthetic, etc, attributes. It is the essence of the art of modelling to assemble only that small subset of all of the characteristics or features of the system that is sufficient to serve the specific objectives of the model as set by the modeller."

All praise due to God whom created this world in proportion and full of correlations, so that mankind taste the benefits in making extraordinary thing and modern marvel. How temperature, pressure, volume, mass, force, speed, acceleration, space and time continuum in absolute harmony to each other obeying each others boundaries, to vary with others parameter under given preset constant. Just how much data, parameters and correlation contain in a droplet of water, and for millennium, the consistency of those interactions have never changed and it has been for every second of the day and night.

That can only be a work of God, You are Truly The Most Magnificent of all. Forgive my sin and protect me from hell fire due to my inconsistencies and shortcomings.

He to whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth: no son has He begotten, nor has He a partner in His dominion: it is He who created all things, and ordered them in due proportions.
[HQ Al-Furqan:2 ]

Ironic

2011-12-18T04:24:00.000+08:00

2:153

2011-12-05T06:58:00.001+08:00

The Wind

2011-11-25T21:40:00.001+08:00

I listen to the wind
To the wind of my soul.
Where I'll end up , well, I think
Only God really knows.
I've sat upon the setting sun
But never, never, never, never.
I never wanted water once
No never, never, never.

I listen to my words
But they fall far below.
I let my music take me
Where my heart wants to go.
I've swam upon the devil's lake
But never, never, never, never.
I'll never make the same mistake
No never, never, never.

The Apple, Peach and Strawberry.

2011-11-19T22:49:00.001+08:00

Got It Covered

2011-11-18T18:14:00.001+08:00

I need Subway.

The lost cover

2011-11-16T00:23:00.001+08:00

Couple of minutes to go before its 4 am. We've been on the road for more than 3 hours, ive spent the last day light covering a song for friends and someone who i am uncertain of, hero by enrique iglesias, 80% to completion, stopped for usrah at subang at 8.00 pm teh tarik at midnight then received phone call auntie nur's dad passed away so we had to go back terengganu the same night. I dont think I'll be finishing the cover, those who had listen to the song may have guessed why. Adam was born in heaven with extremities of heavenly pleasure, apparently only Eve can make him whole. When he was outcasted in this world, God left out everything of his past life and gave him Eve to get through the tough days. I know its only humane to feel the same way as Adam did when he was seperated for centuries, but in this search, I always end up on the wrong ends, and its about to reach another dark end for me. But fret not friends, Ill try and find a better song for you guys, this song Ill keep for her and only her, and if im not destine to see anyone in this world, ill sing it to the angels in the heaven. Ive been having a serious digestion problem for a few days now and it was painful and had fever for few days, im still not sure about being in Terengganu, but sure am certain its better risk dying rather than spending time in front of guitar and electric piano this time around. If this pain doesnt go away by tomorrow, im afraid im gonna need hospitalization. Hope it does not go that far. To make up to that lost cover, heres a song on my single song playlist i played when im in ikano the whole yesternoon.

Happy Graduation Friends. This song is for You!

2011-11-10T20:07:00.001+08:00

Another cover song dedicated to all my graduating friends. Especially Hasnat Noor Chowdury =) I know he's probably not reading this, but this one for you. and most important of all, Petronas scholars, sehingga berjumpa lagi.

...

Azyan cakap sengau. Ayub cakap, RAWK!!!
...

I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you

Pink cards and flowers on your window
Your friends all plead for you to stay
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you

tweet me

2011-11-08T02:22:00.002+08:00

@ayubambam

Self Repression

2011-11-05T12:23:00.000+08:00

For years now I have been on self repressing state of self potential. Its that feeling that you can reach the clouds and do the best in life, but refrained by uncertainties and past failures. Insecurities in hardships and unsurmount loneliness. But deep inside you know that is whats right and thats what the world need, because you yourself know how it feel on this end,

In this road, the food you eat mostly in polystyrene box, sleep on a cold floor that aches up everytime its rain, worries that keeps you wake until morning and always in conflict of public opinion and interest. Everyday struggling to balance out public acceptance and life commitment.

Not a day pass by i do not regret since that day.

“Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried?, But We have certainly tried those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident the liars.
[Al-Ankabut : 2-3]

And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,[Al-Baqarah:155]

Oh You whom my soul in Your hand, I am just scared.
I am not quitter, but when you give it all, you tend to lose it all,
I know youll be here for me forever and always, but i am always scared and weak in my conviction.
Guide me in this struggle, for I am weak and You are The Most High.

....

not a single day passed without regret, and I am very truly sorry.

Keluarga & Masjid

2011-10-30T23:32:00.001+08:00

Keluarga ibarat masjid,
Disini jalan menuju tuhan bermula buatku,
Di sini juga aku mencari ketenangan,
Di masa lemah, aku diperkuatkan,
Di masa aku kuat, mereka diperkuatkan,
Dan disini juga pintu-pintu syurgaku,
Akan ku tetap setia menjaga perananku sehingga diriku pulang ke ilahi.

Brunei - 2011

In the water

2011-10-28T03:00:00.001+08:00

...

Serenity & Tranquility.
a gift from God.

Any given time

2011-10-26T16:18:00.000+08:00

Mmm any given time He'll be there
I don't really have to say no more
Mmm any given time He's right here
Embedded in my living soul - oh for sure
Oh any given time I see
The beauty that has always been
In any given time

I swear by The Lord of the moon split in 2
5 o'clock in the morning, I be calling You

I'm totally lost with out Your light
I'm finding my self on the strive all the time
Not a single day goes by

I'm out to fight the devil but never fought myself
Read a thousand books but never read myself
My souls starving it needs to be fed lord I need your help
Hell with the devil my biggest enemy's myself
It makes me wonder am I doing this for the right reasons
I mean the money the fame and game all sounds appealing
Instead of entertaining I prefer to enlighten
But then again who am I to be in a position
To represent a whole generation of kids and to make them believe
When till this day I still struggle to uphold my deen
I read a 100 God is great in less then a minute
And though my tongue is fast like twista
My hearts not in it

Mmm any given time He'll be there
I don't really have to say no more
Mmm any given time He's right here
Embedded in my living soul - oh for sure
Oh any given time I see
The beauty that has always been
In any given time

By the one in whose hands my soul is there is no match
To think a spider couldn't? weave a curtain just like that (break)

I wouldn't be here without Your light
I'm finding my self on the strive all the time
Not a single day goes by

Sí que tengo fervor, devoción para dar mi granito de arena
Y mi aspiración mantenerla serena
Yo Tengo buen criterio aunque a veces esta difuso
Yo Tengo mi firmeza de la cual a veces abuso
Yo trato de ser justo, me sobra lealtad
Coraje valentía, me falta sobriedad
Diferentes situaciónes,diferentes actitudes
Afectan mi progreso y todas mis virtudes

[Translation]
Sure I have fervour to give my grain of sand
And my aspirations keep them serene
My perception is sound even though it sometimes gets fuzzy
I have my resolution even though I sometimes abuse it
I try to be righteous, I abound in devotion
Courageous irascibility, I lack moderation
Different situations, different attitudes
Hamper my development and all of my virtues

Mmm any given time He'll be there
I don't really have to say no more
Mmm any given time He's right here
Embedded in my living soul - oh for sure
Oh any given time I see
The beauty that has always been
In any given time

Mercy with out boasting
Gifts with out terms
Goodness with out anger
Forgive with out reason
Any given time
I do my best to strive
In Your name I rise
The apple of my eye

Even when I'm not alone
You are closer than the veins in my neck
Even when I'm all alone

Even when I'm in sleep
You are closer than the veins in my neck
Even when I'm in it so deep

Even when I'm all gone
You are closer than the veins in my neck
Even as I'm singin' this song

Even when I'm on a high
You are closer than the veins in my neck
Even when I try to touch the sky

Mmm any given time He'll be there
I don't really have to say no more
Mmm any given time He's right here
Embedded in my living soul - oh for sure
Oh any given time I see
The beauty that has always been
In any given time

Hospitalizing Soul

2011-10-24T11:07:00.000+08:00

As I got up this morning
U watched me and hoped I'd talk to U
Even if it was just a few words
Askin' your opinion,
Thankin' U for something good that happened, Lord
But U noticed I was too busy
Tryin' to find the right clothes matchin' with the right shoes and I
Ran around the house getting ready
U knew there would be minutes to stop and say hello
But I still I were too busy
And at one point I had to wait doing nuttin'
Then U saw me spring to my feet
Thought I wanted to talk
But I ran to the phone
Called a friend... Wassup!

Ok now it's time for us to talk
So I find and empty room but hesitation is in my heart
A look down the hall ...nobody there so I close the door
Take of my new jacket? Man I can't put this on the floor
I'm a have this conversation standin' or my jeans will get dirty
Better yet I'm a sit on this chair right here 'cause I feel a bit lazy
Almost forgot to pull the curtains so no one can look in
And just when I'm about to utter U some words
Someone steps in
Embarrassed by the moment
I jump up and come up with some stupid excuse
Like I was looking for something
All while U were watchin' me patiently
Ready to give more chances
With the hope
That eventually at some point I will speak to U

U give me so much
U wait all day for a nod
A prayer or a thought
A thankful part of my heart

To all my moros back home
All day workin' hard
Struggling all week
Every dawn standing tall

I know U noticed that before lunch I looked around
I felt embarrassed to talk to U
That is why I didn't bow my head
Glanced 3 or 4 tables over, saw some of my friends talking to U
But I did not, there is still more time left
Hope that I will talk to U yet, but I
Went home and seemed as if I had lots of things to do
After that what is on TV
Suddenly I felt too tired to talk to U
Fell asleep in no time without a thought for U
I know it's hard to have a one sided conversation
Well give me some days to try again and again and again

PasÃ© por enfrente de tu casa esta maÃ±ana muy temprano
No me dio ni por llamarte, saludarte lo cual es muy extraÃ±o
Ahora que la luz estÃ¡ apagada estoy pensando
Si sÃ³lo cuando yo lo necesito conversamos
O si sÃ³lo cuando temo me haces falta
A cada instante tu retrato estÃ¡ en mi espalda
Me equivoco en muchas de cosas
Y defectos tengo mÃ¡s de cien
Estoy luchando, tÃº lo sabes bien

[Translation]
I came by your house very early this morning
I didn't stop to call you or say hi, and that's quite strange
Now that the lights are out, I'm thinking
If we only talk when I need it
Or if I only miss you when I'm afraid
I always carry you on my bag
Any moment you're out of my sight
I make mistakes in so many ways and
Faults, I have more than 100
I'm Struggling, you know I am

Appreciatin' is something I be forgettin'
Every second, 24/7, I'm a forgetful servant, I gotta be prayin' though
Appreciatin', when suffering, calamities call,
My soul be hospitalized and all gonna be alright

To all my moros back home
All day workin' hard
Struggling all week
Every dawn standing tall

To all my moros sheddin' tears
Still greet with warm smiles
Patiently throughout the years
Give praise to the most high

To all my moros back home
All day workin' hard
Struggling all week
Every dawn standing tall

To all my moros sheddin' tears
Still greet with warm smiles
Patiently throughout the years
Give praise to the most high

HIMPUN: Not on the same boat?

2011-10-22T01:47:00.001+08:00

Im still skeptical of real objective of HIMPUN. After researching and brainstorming, i cant seem to come to term with the idea of having "rapat umum" on the given basis.

Question: Does islam prohibits the practice of other religion during the time of prophethood? Which includes the da'wah of non-muslims?

To my knowledge, the time of nubuwwah and the time of khulafa' ar-rashidin, christians and jews are doing their da'wah openly and the muslims did not stop them from doing so, as islam promotes the idea of freedom of practice in religion. The muslims back then really work hard to counter da'wah with da'wah, arguments with arguments, upon argument which is clear, burhan, and to win the heart of men with firm beliefs and black and white truth.

So is it right for us to take their rights away, to practice their religion? Which include their right to openly do da'wah?

When I was in CIS, i've studied autonomy of Islam in Malaysian law, I cant seem to agree with phrase of the constitution which prohibits the da'wah of any religion other than islam to be done on muslims in federal and peninsular land (which doesnt apply to Sabah Sarawak thou).

I "personally" feel that, the very part of that constitution is holding back the muslims from their very potential. In order to protect the muslims, we restrict others through subjugation and the order of law, which they supposedly have full rights over in islam. This will create the illusion of safety and will certainly cause the ummah to fall in their false sense of security.

Real security comes from the heart of ummat, thats what gave them firmness in their belief to Tauhid, the pure idea monothiestics faith. Not through protection of man made laws and taking away the practice of other religion. There is no other way than to protect the people's belief than to get that very message of Tauhid in the heart of people, which can only be done only through da'wah. Since the ummat were too drown in their sense of security, and theres no one actually challenge the status quo, we forget da'wah. What is left, is Islam becomes a ceremonial and ritualistic religion, not really a religion sound in heart to the majority.

Do not mind da'wah and implementation of shariah, we have constitution to protect the ummat? That is self denial. Even if we do not claim so, thats what the truth hold. Its a shortcut, and its actually a disease to the ummat. What better example to observe other than the sahabah, tabi'in, itba' tabiin. They do da'wah, fight off propaganda with da'wah, travel over land and over the sea, to get the message to the people. I can openly claim, that muslim in Malaysia is to secure in their false sense of security and take things for granted, little by little we did not realize the faith of the people becomes fragile, and we blame other religion, not our ignorance and lack of effort?

From the press conference given by the organizer, he expressed the disagreement on christians using free tutions, charity works as proselytisation of muslims to christianity. Why dont muslims compete the same way, Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt, committed fully in social welfare and taking this platform to do da'wah, free clinics, classes, healthcare, foods, comunity service, and so do PKS in Indonesia where charity work was intense. To condemn and do not compete is really immature. Is it the problem of them doing charity work? or? us negating our responsibility and not commited to social service?

....
My disagreement does not imply that i agree to blasphemy"murtad", What i urge is to :
1) Recognize the rights of Non-Muslim to practice their religion, including doing da'wah as what the prophet and the sahabah did.
2) Do da'wah intensely and compete whole heartedly for islam.
3) Implement shariah in whole, not man made laws to shortcut away from da'wah and shariah.

....

and we should stop living in this fallacy of,

1) "Malaysia is a multicultural, therefore open dialogue and religious discussion should be avoided to preserve the stability of Malaysia as multicultural and multi religious country", during the time of prohethood, they are not only living with people of different religions and race, but also the fact that they are living with the jews, and threaten side by side by persian and romans. Yet they manage to maintain stability and peace.

2) "Malaysia is a multi religious country, therefore shariah have to be modified to suit the needs of Malaysia demography", shariah have to be taken in whole, thats why the problem of murtad doesnt seem to solve, in fact it escalates through slippery slopes. Ibadah and shariah needs to come together.

....

Although many NGO including IKRAM, are for the cause, i cant agree with this one, but not too express disapproval, only to widen the perspective.

....

aj.

Tow Tiuwt!

2011-10-20T23:43:00.000+08:00

Fluid Mechanics -Moonday
Automatic Control -Teoosday
Mechanical Design - Thoorsday
..
After that, FAMUHLEE TOIME!!!
...
Dear IBUAYAHIMANAZYAN. Please bring me a camera. My camera charger kong. I really need a camera ! Really really Badly!

p/s: Mia Sara Nasuha. SO KIUT!!! chubby chumps chumps.

Dua Deduction

2011-10-19T01:41:00.000+08:00

Sujud adalah Rukun Solat
Tidak sujud didalam solat, tiadalah Solat

Solat adalah Rukun Islam
Tidak solat didalam kehidupan, tiadalah ... ISLAM.

....

Alangkah sedih manusia yang kembali kepada tuhan,
berharap masih muslim,
tapi menemui bahawa islamnya sudah tiada lagi.
Atas budi bicara tuhan neraka sementara atau selamanya buat dirinya.

Apa kira sementara,
berduka?
Apa kira selamanya,
binasa?

P-Taboo

2011-10-18T01:23:00.000+08:00

The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action: and till action, lust
Is perjur'd, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust;
Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight;
Past reason hunted; and no sooner had,
Past reason hated, as a swallow'd bait,
On purpose laid to make the taker mad:
Mad in pursuit and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof,— and prov'd, a very woe;
Before, a joy propos'd; behind a dream.
All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.

- Sonnet 129, W.Shakespear

Cinta Batman

2011-10-17T22:21:00.000+08:00

-Cinta Dalam Gelap-Kalau kita sukakan seseorang,
jangan beritahu si dia.
Nanti Allah kurangkan rasa cinta padanya
Tapi luahkan pada Allah,
beritahulah Allah.
Allah Maha mengetahui siapa jodoh kita ..

Cintai Dia Dalam Diam,
Dari Kejauhan Dengan Kesederhanaan & Keikhlasan

Jika benar cinta itu kerana ALLAH maka biarkanlah ia mengalir mengikut aliran ALLAH kerana hakikatnya ia berhulu dari ALLAH maka ia pun berhilir hanya kepada ALLAH
"Dan segala sesuatu Kami ciptakan berpasang-pasangan supaya kamu mengingat kebesaran ALLAH."
(Adz Dzariyat : 49)

Tetapi jika kelemahan masih nyata dipelupuk mata maka bersabarlah, berdoalah & berpuasalah
"Dan janganlah kamu mendekati zina; sesungguhnya zina itu adalah satu perbuatan yang keji. Dan suatu jalan yang buruk."
(Al Israa' : 32 )

Ketika kau mendambakan sebuah cinta sejati yang tak kunjung datang,
Allah SWT mempunyai Cinta dan Kasih yang lebih besar dari segalanya & Dia telah menciptakan sseorang yang akan menjadi pasangan hidupmu kelak.
Ketika kau merasa bahawa kau mencintai seseorang,
namun kau tahu cintamu tak terbalas
Allah SWT tahu apa yang ada di depanmu & Dia sedang mempersiapkan segala yang terbaik untukmu

Cukup cintai dalam diam
bukan kerana membenci hadirnya
tetapi menjaga kesuciannya
bukan kerana menghindari dunia
tetapi meraih syurga-NYA
bukan kerana lemah untuk menghadapinya
tetapi menguatkan jiwa dari godaan syaitan yang begitu halus & menyelusup

Cukup cintai dari kejauhan
kerana hadirmu tiada kan mampu menjauhkan dari ujian
kerana hadirmu hanya akan menggoyahkan iman dan ketenangan
kerana mungkin membawa kelalaian hati-hati yang terjaga

Cukup cintai dengan kesederhanaan
Memupuknya hanya akan menambah penderitaan
menumbuhkan harapan hanya akan membumbui kebahagiaan para syaitan

Cintailah dengan keikhlasan
Kerana tentu kisah Fatimah dan Ali Bin Abi Talib diingini oleh hati
tetapi sanggupkah jika semua berakhir seperti sejarah cinta Salman Al Farisi..??
".. boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu.
ALLAH mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui."
(Al Baqarah : 216 )

Jangan memberi harapan pada yang belum pasti,
kelak ada insan yang bakal dilukai,
Jangan menaruh harapan pada yang belum tentu dimiliki,
nanti hati yang kecewa sendiri.
Sebaliknya,
gantunglah segenap pengharapanmu kepada Yang Maha Memberi,
nescaya dirimu tak sesekali dizalimi,
kerana Dia mendengar pengharapanmu setiap kali & Dia menunaikannya dgn cara-Nya yang tersendiri

Cukup cintai dalam diam dari kejauhan dengan kesederhaan & keikhlasan
Kerana tiada yang tahu rencana Tuhan
mungkin saja rasa ini ujian yang akan melapuk atau membeku dengan perlahan

Kerana hati ini begitu mudah untuk dibolak-balikkan
serahkan rasa itu pada Yang Memberi dan Memilikinya
biarkan DIA yang mengatur semuanya hingga keindahan itu datang pada waktunya
"Barangsiapa yang menjaga kehormatan orang lain, pasti kehormatan dirinya akan terjaga."
(Umar Bin Khattab ra)

If you really love her, you won’t touch her.
Not even the slightest bit.
You’ll protect her dignity and sacredness as a muslimah.
Just hold her in your heart for a few more years ..
then you can do it the halal way

“Sesiapa sahaja yang memberi kerana Allah, menolak kerana Allah, mencintai kerana Allah,membenci kerana Allah & menikah kerana Allah, maka bererti ia telah sempurna imannya.”
(HR. Al-Hakim)

-courtesy AllahSeeker

Slow and Easy.

2011-10-16T06:48:00.000+08:00

tak perlu sekarang.

Gotta be somewhere out there

2011-10-14T08:17:00.000+08:00

Fitrah diri menjerit lagi pagi ini.
Asssignment due at 4 =D
OMG OMG *kabut*

Oh my son

2011-10-14T01:53:00.001+08:00

A video i translated long time ago. Paps, thanks for loving me

Hilang Macho!

2011-10-13T06:49:00.000+08:00

Wahai Myvi, cantik nye awak.
Tapi, kenape tingkap awak rosak =(
Hilang MACHO! aargh!pfft !

A day in the life.

2011-10-12T17:08:00.002+08:00

Its was a cold rainy day today, but the rain just stopped
Here's a good song for sunshine and assignment
A good song to ponder on the storm that just passed
And be grateful of life again

Angels Wear Gucci

2011-10-12T14:15:00.002+08:00

check this out >> AngelsWearGucci

Jom gelak sekali =D

2011-10-11T15:34:00.000+08:00

Manusia akan menangis kelak pada hakikat DOTA adalah tuhan pada solat jemaah mereka kepada Allah SWT.
Sekarang boleh la gelak-gelak =D Rilex la 5 minit lagi.
Sambil memberi gelak sinis sedang sedar hakikat 5 minit lagi dah nak masuk asar masih depan komputer melopong tak sembahyang zohor.
Nanti depan Allah, kita tengok balik gelakan sinis yang kamu beri tadi =D betul serious ni. Kita tengok balik. Premiere showcase panggung alam.
Allah akan replay balik gelakan sinis tu. =D betul ni serious.
Di bawah ada neraka sebesar semesta, meletup-letup marah dengan keangkuhan manusia kepada tuhan.
Time tu gelak la puas-puas =D
Seriously, betul ni. Gelak puas =D jangan merayu. Gelak je. =D
Aren't we all happy people. We are laughing people to where commitment to God is laughable. =D

let us all laugh =D

sorry, cerita lawak ni takde kena mengena dengan sesiapa.
tapi kalau ada. =D you really deserve my cynical hint.
let see whose going to laugh now =D
Bila lagi nak bersyukur dapat hidayah.

Milikku MilikMu

2011-10-10T23:56:00.001+08:00

Hidup ini milikku. Sedang diriku milikMu. Maka hidupku juga milikMu.
Perlakukan daku seteruk mana wahai tuhan. Aku tetap milikMu.
Hancur luluhkanlah hatiKu. Sesungguhnya aku kekal milikMu.
Ujilah daku dengan sebaik-baik manusia. Sesungguhnya aku milikMu.
Ujilah daku dengan secantik-cantik manusia. Sesungguhnya aku kekal milikMu.
Ujilah daku dengan sekaya-kaya manusia. Sesungguhnya aku kekal milikMu.
Ujilah daku dengan fitnah nafsu dan syubahat yang menggila. Sesungguhnya aku tetap milikMu.
Ujilah daku dengan kekayaan dunia. Sesungguhnya aku kekal milikMu.
Ujilah daku dengan duniamu. Sesungguhnya hatiku, kekal selamanya milikmu.
Ujilah daku dengan dosa, sesungguhnya taubatku milikMu.
Walau 9/10 hidupku penuh dosa, 1/10 ketaatan hidupku itulah sahaja yang akui sebahagian dari diriku.
Kerana hidupku hanya untukMu.

kini, benarkan daku kotakan janjiku.
Aku tidak tahu apa menanti diriku di persimpangan jalan.
Jikalau dihadapan menanti simpang ke neraka.
Jemputlah daku sekarang juga.
Selamatkan daku sekarang juga.
Rehatkan aku disisiMu.
Keseorangan dilahad dunia demiMu lebih bermakna buatku.
Selagimana aku kekal bersamaMu.

Adults -_-'

2011-10-10T20:00:00.000+08:00

This is what its ideally looks like

Before that there' bumbs bumping

Then comes the pinching

Then the usual comeback

After 5 minutes. still.Sigh. Adults -_-'

=) happy nye.

2011-10-09T22:58:00.000+08:00

Ada satu kedai cina di depan rumah. Saya sering beli air 100 plus botol dan biskut dekat kedai tersebut. Kedai itu memang famous dgn ketidak sopan santunan di kalangan sahabat di Curtin. Bila ditanya ada yang tidak puas hati, dan ada yang sudah boikot kedainya. Tidak kurang juga saya, kita datang nak beli barang, di campaknya duit baki pastu tak pandang =D tapi saya tidak berhenti membeli ke kedainya, mengharap satu hari dapat mengukir senyuman dalam dirinya dengan memberi senyuman setiap kali berjumpa dengan dia. Sehingga satu tahap, saya sedar saya beli air disitu bukan semata untuk membeli air, tapi sekadar nak jumpa dia, nak cuba senyumkan dia, padahal boleh sahaja beli di Restoran Cahaya Taufik betul-betul di sebelahnya.

Hari ni saya sangat bahagia, dia senyum dekat saya =D Sebab sebelum bayar saya senyum LEBAR-LEBAR! pastu dia nak capai plastic, saya cakap "Eh takpe takpe, tak perlu plastic" wah dia happy =D dia kata, "awak orang a, bagus, tak pakai plastic, banyak pakai plastic a, masuk bumi lama baru hilang" ... Wahhh saya happy dia cakap dengan saye =D happy gile. tapi muka dia garang, masih gerun, dan dia cakap tak selisih mata, malu barangkali. Saya pun jawab "yea la uncle, kalau ramai orang pakai plastic, semua orang pergi kedai tiap hari, rosak bumi". Uncle tu jawap, ya lo, tengok ini plastic *menunjuk ke arah longgokan plastic* sudah lama tara ganti wo, semua tak mahu guna plastic" saya pun jawab "wa selalu dulu manyak kali tukar ke uncle", dia kate "Ya lo, ini *dia tunjuk dekat rokok tidak berlesen yang harga kurang dari 3 ringgit*, beli 2 kotak mahu plastic, aiya. Lu orang bagi saya jimat. Bagus" .

Saya pun happy =) pastu dapat share air root beer yang pernuh berkat dengan Nodon Amin Azmir dan Azam. =D lagi lah happy saye. .

Ok tu je. nak share kebahagiaan hari ini, untuk mengubati hari esok.ok lah time to work. Semoga happy selalu. Salam.

Beatiful Distraction

2011-10-07T00:04:00.000+08:00

Im officially a SolidWork addict.
Just keeping the blog going in the midst of hecticness.

Another episode of life in pursuit of happiness

2011-10-02T08:38:00.001+08:00

Its 6.33 in the morning, and I've stared at the screen for about 10 minutes just to figure out what and how to begin with. This is the time i feel like finding a quite place just to scream my lungs out.

I do not know what bothers me the most, is it the fact that I am committing a major treason to the deen, or to pursue the love of my life (at least that what im thinking right now) under undoubtly erroneous and fallacious circumstances. Somehow its seems like a perfect match, you found someone who speaks the same language, appreciate the same music, shares the same passion and inspire mountain of hope in life, and not to forget she is freakishly smart.

Its beyond the limit of my comprehension, to surpress those feelings and uncertainties, i really cant think straight, i didnt go to class for weeks, and i locked myself in my room for almost a week not wanting to see anyone and about to skip my usrah intentionally for the first time, but out of Allah's mercy i cant do it, but arrived nearing to midnight. I thought naqib was going to be angry not giving reason of being late and not calling, out of reach, and not to forget liqa' was rescheduled because i used the "busy" ticket. and best of all i arrived super duper late, he was smiling happy just to see me and he gave me container full of cakes to take home, which others didnt get. Its a classic case of beruk bagi taik, dapat bunga. Damn you Ayub, Damn you.

I still cant figure out how I can be so insidious. Not intentionally, but out of blindness of feelings. Tell me why are you so desperate. why. why. Growing out from teenage to young blood in a hedonistic world is what is. Its the era where men pious by day, and beast by night, impatience world, full of greed and propaganda. Love songs are wrong until made right. Sexual thoughts are wrong until made right. Lust are wrong until made right. and current state of affair of the world doesnt help abit in coping with the reality. Its the time when candy bar promoted by half naked woman, and you just pray to God that nothing comes your way every night and every day leading you astray.

Its easy to be naive and look at it as something small. couple, dating, innuendo pervasive talk and given my past lifestyle is so pleasureable, its so easy to trip and fall behind. Rock and thrash metal industry is no more sinful, but blasphemous. and most of the times you wish you had died before you even reached puberty in this delirious world. and I'm certain this pursuit is pulling me behind in studies, in da'wah, in commitment to my family.

Given her status as engaged, i just cant accept the fact a big billboard over her written "NOT AVAILABLE" engraved with hellfire. You and your false hope Ayub. So weak in your conviction, you should've been stronger. I realized too i cant write on my blog fearing to be a naive. I no more walk the talk like before. I love giving advice, spread knowledge. So passionate in sharing ideas and perspectives. Decorate 'em with beautiful pictures of flowers and natural beauty. But I really dont think i cant do it now, because then I'm a hypocrite.

I've always envied friends who still firm in their way. Clean and fully committed. All out in da'wah tarbiyah. Kudos for you guys. Respect!

So whats next Ayub? Stop moaning and whimpering and get the move on? oh wait deja vu. Didn't i say that not too long ago. Love bugs, such a pain in the bums. Dahla Ayub. Enough is enough. Letting go like letting go half of the life. But like Nirmala my tutor during high school always said "Wattuduw"

I really wish tonight i sleep just to wake up tomorrow with someone by my side, drinking latte in the morning and jam the hell out of love songs available from 80s to 90s, acoustic "live in AOL" style. Help protect each other in this crazy world, and together in tear and pain carry on what the Prophet PBUH cried before, care for each others needs and cure these loneliness of life and to tickle the small hands of a baby. Wipe poo and get sprayed by the little fireman. Gosh. Now youre fantasizing of being a father. Ambitious. Maybe too ambitious. But hey, thats not even quarter of what my mind went through in everyday life. Oh ow. I just realized realized something. Oh ow. Im a daydreamer *facepalm*

Ok la. life moves on. How long i can stay in the state of taubah. Only God knows. But from the response she gave, maybe this is the last time. Because of Allah we are here, to Allah we return.

Hommies get married. Ladies be married. =D hue hue hue.

Kemasukan air,ayub.

....

On the other note. This song reminds me of Ibu. But its a song of passing. But I dunno, it keeps reminds me of you Ibu.

Then what?

2011-09-28T17:50:00.002+08:00

Looking forward to graduation.
then what?
Looking forward to marriage.
then what?
whats next ayub?

I've always thought life had been for You and only You.
but current predicament, made me want to sit in dark corner just to hide away from You.
but i know You are ever watching over me.

Im confused and lost in life's decesion.
Every second passed by i'm regretting that I did not give You what You deserve.
only You can cure me.
only You can mend me.
and only You can fix me.

will I ever have faith in myself again?

God the One. I beseech You and only You. Pardon me O Allah for I'm lost beyond your boundaries.

Maybe I should call tonight

2011-09-20T01:02:00.005+08:00

Sometimes you wish that you dont sleep as much
Sometimes you wish you are not self centered as you were
Sometimes you wish you did not play guitar as much
Sometimes you wish you werent on piano every single hour
Sometimes you wish life was not just about assignments and lab reports
Sometimes you wish that you helped along with chores so very often
Sometimes you wish you've folded two bakul or of baju or more every day
Sometimes you wish you were the one driving them to teh tarik every single night
Sometimes you wish you've talked more and worrying less
Sometimes you wish you listen more and argue less
Sometimes you wish that you've kissed and hug more than you did

I would have called tonight. but its too late at night. So i listen to this tonight. Wishing I could have been better every single day, and if Allah allow me to see you both once again, I'll be grateful for it and give my best to make those wishes come true. But if I don't, take this as a kind gesture that I'll continue to strive to be a better men than I am yesterday, and hopefully my sons daughters will have a sip of what you both taught me, which I cant repay nor relive it even for a second.

But I'll try.

One God

2011-09-18T21:44:00.003+08:00

HBA

2011-08-22T18:35:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah. Happy Birthday Ayub Jamil. This is your 22nd. May you have a good life ahead. Holding tight to Allah and His messenger in life forever more. May you fix up all the slackings and be a better man in future. To love your family, friends kin and neighbour. You have been great, but could have been greater. =)

p/s: I was too busy with life that i only realized my birthday was around the corner one day ago. Thank you Hotlink for your reminder. I feel like singing myself a song. but too busy to record one. peace out. have a good last round of ramadhan! oh laila. dimana kamu =D

Kuatkan Aku

2011-08-20T15:55:00.001+08:00

Oh Tuhan kuatkan aku untuk lalui jalan hidup ini
yang ku inginkan selalu ada dalam ridho-Mu
berikanlah petunjuk-Mu agar diriku tak tersesat
untuk menuju surga yang telah Kau janjikan

ampunkan diriku jika selama ini hanyalah berbuat dosa
tak sanggup diriku bila di akhir hidupku menanggung siksa-Mu

aku hambamu yang lemah, tak sempurna
berlutut sujud dihadap-Mu

Oh Tuhan kuatkan aku untuk lalui jalan hidup ini
yang ku inginkan selalu ada dalam ridho-Mu ooh

ampunkan diriku jika selama ini hanyalah berbuat dosa
tak sanggup diriku bila di akhir hidupku menanggung siksa-Mu
ampunkan diriku jika selama ini hanyalah berbuat dosa
tak sanggup diriku bila di akhir hidupku menanggung siksa-Mu

(ampunkan diriku jika selama ini hanyalah berbuat dosa) berbuat dosa
(tak sanggup diriku bila di akhir hidupku menanggung siksa-Mu
ampunkan diriku jika selama ini hanyalah berbuat dosa
tak sanggup diriku bila di akhir hidupku menanggung siksa-Mu

Ramadhan Half Time

2011-08-18T06:29:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah, so we've reached the second half of Ramadhan. Oh Allah, give us strength to endure the night with You, and bless us to be among those who praise you during lailatul qadr. Amin!

I had my second game last week, after almost a week of fitness training and prep not to faint, I played well for almost 10 minutes, before having a white out vision. But managed to control not to faint and played whole half-time, "pelan-pelan". Been busy with assignments and labs. Yesterday had some free time, so I recorded another all time favorite nasheed,

I'tiraf - Raihan, covered with ukelele.

Have a good last 10 of Ramadhan. Time to strive ! Gambatteh Neh!

salam,aj.

THW : This one for you

2011-08-12T04:13:00.003+08:00

Salam brother, you know I cant answer to your last comment. I was deeply touched by it, and I sincerely do not know how to respond to it. I know I've been away from blog walking for awhile, and also to be frank, I dint get to drop by my friend's blog all that much. This is my try to express my feelings for it. This one for you.

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

....

Allah shall ask on the Day of Judgment, “Where are those who loved for the sake of My Greatness? Today when there is no shade save Mine, I shall have them in My Shade.”
[Sahih Muslim: Kitab al-Birr wa al-Silah]

Abu Idris Khulani, one of the famous tabi’in says that once he visited Mu’adh ibn Jabal in the mosque of Damascus and told him that “By Allah I love you for the sake of Allah”. He repeatedly asked me to swear if it was so and when I answered in affirmative every time he pulled me by my shawl and said, “Hear the good news! I have heard the exalted and blessed Messenger of Allah saying that “My love shall certainly be for those who love each other for my sake, who sit in each other’s company for my sake, who go to meet each other for my sake and spend money on each other for my sake.”
[Muwatta Imam Malik, Kitab-al-Shi'r]

Got to stop fainting

2011-08-09T15:55:00.002+08:00

Assalamu'alaikum peeps. How are you guys, hope you guys are fine and well. As Ramadhan passed us day by day, week by week, i hope that everyone is undergoing the training and embrace the transition to become a better person, to examplify The Beloved Prophet, and to be close to Almighty creator through worship, remembrance and repentance on our past deeds.

Ramadhan had been rather challenging for me. When i was small, i love to run and play sports. During primary, I used to represent school for sprinting, thou i did not go far as the guys from Sekolah Sukan Bukit Jalil was three times faster and fitter. Since our school are from the same district, our school always left behind when we meet Sekolah Sukan Bukit Jalil.

Then we moved to PJ, i went into SMK Sultan Abdul Samad, i had been on hiatus on all of the sports except, playing football for PE lesson. Back when i was in high school, i was more nerdy, Solar Car competition we went to state district, i was fully engrossed with music. For almost 4 years physically unfit, I started doing sports again. During form 5, there were not enough runner in our Sport House for Lelaki Kelas 1, i was in the Green House by the way, I had to run for the house in 200 m Lelaki 1 against a few of the very tall and skinny Form 6. Surprisingly, I got a gold for it, and i was forced to enrol for Long Jump, nailed silver for it. That is pretty awkward situation for me.

When i graduated high school, i was back to being physically dormant and gain a few pounds when i entered Curtin University, physical condition wass really bad. I only play futsal about 2 weeks once, and my diet and sleep all jumbled and unorganized. After 4 and a half year being dormant i decided to be physically fit again. I joined a football team called Panther FC, we had a good captain and also manager. On our first game we did du'a and the captain prayed to at least have a winning of 2-0 and also prep end up with takbir. I love the idea that this team play not just for winning, but there is something else to it. I was assigned to take care of Right Back, and I must say i did tried my best keeping the ball of the box, and played for almost half time and benched nearing to half time.

As I was sitting next to Arep, I cant breath and i felt all dizzy. My eyes was blurry and I really cant breath and my vision was partly white. I said to Arep, "Dude, aku rasa nak pengsan la", Arep said, "Eh jangan duduk, jalan bro, jalan" So i took a stroll down the side of the field, and fell after walking my 5th meter. I cant breath and I'm halfway through passing out, Zubir saw me, and I realized, I really need to rehydrate before i pass out. It was a pitty that its 45 minutes left till Iftar. Before this I used to do sunnat fasting on Monday and Thursday, and used to do sport during fasting, it was okay.

So I had post mortem on myself. I realized I did not had enough energy for the game due to imroper sahur. I only took about half a glass of water and went back to bed. One other possible reason is because I recently did blood donation about a week before fasting, It could also be another reason to the fainting. Someone proposed that I should drop playing all in all and concentrate on fasting. But I reckon that shouldn't be the case. Its not the problem of playing, but being physically unfit is the issue. and I am committed to have a change in my lifestyle and to also be productive in da'wah and studies which is currently partly unorganized.

May this Ramadhan teach me the meaning of being an active muslim, care for the ni'mah of health and physical well being, and to be organized in every of my dealings with friends and family. and if theres a call for Jihad, I'll be wanting for myself to be on the most front and not fainting half way through. Oh Allah, to You only we seek help, and to You only we return. ... On the other note, I missed Rasulullah SAW so badly. The day I fainted, I wish he was there to comfort me, and to tell me it was okay, and that it'l be better the next time around. But I'm grateful ibu is till around to comfort me. This one for you Ya Habibi

Pengemis Kasih

2011-08-05T12:38:00.000+08:00

I've always wanted to do cover of "Mengemis Kasih" by Nazrey Johani on ukulele. Due to alot of other commitments, I didn't have enough time to arrange the song, but two days ago, the arrangements suddenly gushed into me, and that is probably one of the fastest written arrangement i ever did, deep in me i know it has always been a divine intervention, I knew I had to record this cover. This is one of the most loved nasheed and really personal one to me. Together with this recording, I included my favourite hadith which is also very personal to me. So I compiled this both things which always motivate me in this life, so that others may too.

Thank You Allah, I Can't Thank You Enough

The Fajr Song

2011-08-03T23:42:00.001+08:00

Tabuh berbunyi gemparkan malam sunyi
Berkumandang suara azan
Mandayu memecah sepi
Selang seli sahutan ayam

Tapi insan kalaupun hanya ada
Mata yang celik dipejam lagi
Hatinya penuh benci
Berdengkurlah kembali
Begitulah peristiwa di subuh hari
Suara insan di alam mimpi

Tabuh berbunyi gemparkan alam sepi
Berkumandang suara azan
Mandayu memecah sepi
Selang seli sahutan ayam

Ayuh bangunlah
Tunaikan perintah Allah
Sujud mengharap keredhaan-Nya
Bersyukurlah bangkitlah segera
Moga mendapat keredhaan-Nya
Begitulah peristiwa di subuh hari
Setiap pagi setiap hari

Aku Mahu Pulang

2011-08-03T06:05:00.000+08:00

Beauty. Pride. Muslimah

2011-07-27T00:41:00.001+08:00

Beauty. What about beauty that captures our heart. The vastness of this world adorned with beauty. A thousand and one colors of petals filling the crook and crannies of the earth, with different combinations of patterns and shapes, and often made complete with a drop or two of rain droplets and dews. The perfect settings and symmetries of the world, cotton of clouds majestically roam the sky, reflecting the blueness of the ocean. There is something about Him and beauty.

Just like the sweetness of honey and blueberries, it invites you to yearn for what is to come. Those feelings, thou they are not perfect in worldly sense, but it allows you to have a sip of heavenly perfection, until you drown in submission trying to extrapolate on how does those feelings were to taste in heaven, Jannatul A'la. So does beauty of sound and sight, it soaks into you internally, and freshen up those fatigued soul. Those overwhelming feeling makes sailing the seven seas a breeze and reminds you that these steps through hardships going to be worthwhile.

...

A brother walked along with me after class, and I expressed how there is various trends of hijab styling, and personally I admire and appreciate those efforts. Although, there are some styling which is "non-compliant", exposed fringes, exposed chest, but in other sense I admire those efforts of starting to wear hijab and if i have a rose in my hand i'll personally place it in their bags with a note "You look beautiful =D" without them knowing. But the brother had different take on it, he implied that muslimah should wear decently without having any attraction, where the general idea should be "You should not attract others". I insist to him, that being modest does not take away beauty, muslim should be presentable, pleasant to the eye, and easily approached. Patterns and colors make life interesting. Thou I agree that extravagant is not part of the deen. Thou in the end, we agree to disagree with each other.

From ’Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ud R.A who said that the Prophet SAW said, “No one will enter Paradise who has an atom’s weight of pride in his heart.” A man said, “What if a man likes his clothes to look good and his shoes to look good?” He said, “Allah is beautiful and loves beauty. Pride means denying the truth and looking down on people.” [Sahih Muslim]

Allah SWT is beautiful and loves beauty. Beautify ourselves without extravagant. Be humble and Stand for what is true. Allah SWT will love you =D

There's something about hijab, it yield respects, it soothes your eyes, it calms you. If it is worn right in its entirety. God bless all the Muslimah, The submitting subservient Eves of the world. God Bless You All ! The mother of all the Muslimin !!

Wasted

2011-07-25T00:16:00.000+08:00

Say, [O Muhammad], "Shall we [believers] inform you of the greatest losers as to [their] deeds?
[They are] those whose effort is lost in worldly life, while they think that they are doing well in work."
[Holy Quran 18 : 103-104]

...

I seek refuge in Allah SWT of those fallacy and false accomplishment

Roadsinger

2011-07-21T23:08:00.000+08:00

Roadsinger came to town, long cape and hat,
People stood and stared then closed their doors, as he passed,
He strolled the empty street, kids banged on tin cans,
Then the panting dogs began to bark, as the Roadsinger sang

Where do you go, where do you go,
When hearts are closed,
When a friend becomes a stranger,
Nobody wants to know

Where do you go, where do you go,
When the world turns dark,
And the light of truth is blown out,
And the roads are blocked

He stopped by a stall, between the barrels and sacks,
A child's face peeped out and gave a smile, and ran back,
Behind a misty glass, on a windowpane,
A little finger drew a perfect heart, and a name

Where do you go, where do you go,
In a world filled with fright,
Only a song to warm you, through the night
Where do you go, where do you go,
After lies are told,
And the light of truth is blown out,
And the night is cold

Mmm.... Mmmm.... Mmmm.... Mmmm....

Roadsinger rode on, to another land,
Though the people spoke a different tongue, it understand,
They showed him how to share, and took him by the hand,
Showed him the path to Heaven, through the desert sand

Where do you go, where do you go,
To find happiness,
In a world filled with hatred, (Cheers)
Where do you go, where do you go,
If no one cares,
And everybody's lost, looking for theirs

3569

2011-07-19T22:04:00.001+08:00

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said, “None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.”
[Bukhari and Muslim]

Assalamu'alaikum w.b.t.h,

Peace y'all, i wish you best in health, wealth and piety, to stay close and constant remembrance of Allah SWT. Blog had been on hiatus for quite awhile due to excessive traveling and moving in and out. Finally had some time to update on myself, for keepsake of this ever continuing life of mine and also as a periodic muhasabah and self check on ever changing status quo.

So I had a pleasant time with family for a month, holiday seems to come right on time, need a break from all the stresses and what not, and best of all to feel loved again. Result was above expectation, Alhamdulillah for that, for all the goodness can only can come from Him, hopefully it could be maintained for the rest of semesters, and better still, improvement.

Recently Ive been thinking alot of my blog mate who is far away out there and out of reach, TheHumbleWayfarer, how are you? AbdusSalam, how are you? Kak Fid, How are you? Bintu Rafee, How are you? Butet, how are you? Liyana, how are you ? NixNadizy, how are you? RockingHijab, how are you? Hamamu, how are you? PemburuSyurga, how are you?

This semester I've moved in with 4 other hommies Azmir, Udin, Arep and Haras. Its been a blast, and best of all, jamaah prayer is just a door-knock away. First few days had been a blast, my room window was directed to the place of sunrise, and Alhamdulillah, I had been greeted with sun rays every morning, it was so beautiful and really felt different, and as far as I can recall, this is the first time I enjoy sunrise every morning, not in Bangsar, and also not in Petaling Jaya. Owh so beautiful.

This semester will be coming in heavy, 2 core subjects and 2 optional subjects. Still trying to balance out commitment and studies, after a month away from studies and da'wah tarbiyah jama'ie due to excessive traveling. O Allah help me in my affairs in finding nearness to You and to persevere in fulfilling my duty as Your subservient servant. May this Ramadhan increase our focus, iman and taqwa in attending our affair, duniawi and ukhrawi. Amin.

Most things still remain the same as it was, but some are not. But I am optimistic about life. Things will be better, InshaAllah. For every hardship there are rewards, for every rewards, there are blessings. Nothing more valuable than blessings. Wealth, happiness, pain, suffering, sweat, tears and blood are just meaningless without blessings. Oh Allah, bless me in every step of my life, in every rising and downfall, bless every near kin to me, bless every single friends I've been with, and those who are far from you, bless them with repentance and nearness of You.

...

Recently also, I've been feeling that life is short, It felt stronger day by day, and I felt that I've been complaining alot about life, instead pursuing for wisdom behind every event in life. All dust specks and atoms which forms liquid solids and plasma in this world, had been equated and set in place by the Wise one, and none of it was set without reason and as mere play, and if every single wheat, grass and leaves at the side of the road was set out for a purpose, I am sure every event in life will have its wisdom, and the wise one always learn.

Its time for a change.
From protest to engagement.

Running

2011-07-05T03:02:00.000+08:00

Run, running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me, I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most

And I'm so sorry that I've fallen
Help me up, lets keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love

Running, running, as fast as we can
(As fast as we can)
Do you think you'll make it?
(Do you think we'll make it?)
We're running, keep holding my hand
It's so we don't get separated

Be, be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me

Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up

InshaAllah

2011-07-01T05:56:00.001+08:00

at last, a cover that I had been wanting to make for such a long time. apart from obvious inability to sing properly, didn't have enough time to tabulate solo. Off to Terengganu in a few minutes time. Might revisit and perfect the cover in near future. InshaAllah.

Thank you Allah for letting me finish this.

Rachel Corrie Tribute

2011-06-28T04:17:00.000+08:00

This is specially dedicated to Rachel Corrie.
You inspired me.

much <3

Come Clean

2011-06-24T03:08:00.002+08:00

Some might wonder just what went wrong with me off lately. Went AWOL on everything. Got off grid. Mind wasn't straight for days. Started with a story of someone who matters, whom I had portion of my soul to her due to her good virtue. She is part of "The List". Kind, caring and unique for that matter. But. There's one detail to the beautiful picture. She is .Engaged.

It was all normal. Me being me, ignorant beyond social capacity. Especially to the Eves. But then it happened. What? When and How? It was all of a sudden. She was persistent. I reconcile. I assume it was just normal for any person to be afraid of lifelong decision that she is going through. I severed myself almost completely from her. I felt disgraced and hurt of those deeds. But up above, He deserve more recognition, and there are ethic of life that we are all bound to.

It was dreadful. painful. It just eats you up inside and outside. I never did something like that before, to ostracized someone that way, and I wish to never ever go there, ever again. I was just confused of life's decision. made me wonder for almost every second, did you do right? were you just? It was all shades of grey and not as black and white as it used to be.

Feeling was overwhelming, but after long painstaking week. She agreed. We'll put it to past and never re-visit those feelings. But I was optimist about it thou. Maybe when the time is right, later on in life. Perhaps. She got on with her plan of marrying Mr.RightGuy and we be friends. Just when i thought the storm should ease down, I had a really bad post-trauma withdrawal.

I realized that I kept having her at the back of my mind. Every minute and every second. and sometimes i literally see her. literally. Its just there and its not going away. I cant focus on Da'wah Tarbiyah, cant focus on Exams. Life was unproductive. Before coming home, I was optimistic, things will just ease down on me with all the cuddles, kisses and home delicacies waiting for me back home.

Its more than a week now since I got home, its still not going away. In fact, it got worst. I'm awake all night, lose my daylight with love ones. Having guitar around when you are not sober, does not help at all. You sing your heart all night long. and I still have yet to contact the person in charge to guide me in Da'wah & Tarbiyah here in PJ.

Sometimes I wonder, how did I give in to those feelings so badly? I thought I'm done with it? Its hard to describe feelings. the more words you try to describe, the more unsound it is to the real meaning. All i can say is, I'm not sane, and each day I am a distant saint.

Thinking of the whole ordeal i have in hand, I can't let my mind of one prophetic wisdom. "The Prophet PBUH said: When a man comes to you (asking for your daughter) and you are pleased with his religion and character, marry her to him. If you don't, there will be a trial on the earth, and widespread corruption (will prevail) [Tirmidhi] ".

Something that I knew before, but only recently understood.You have this overwhelming feelings that surpasses your daily cup of tea, but you cant express them, you can't date, there's no legal means to it, not until there's vows and oaths in the name the creator. and given the circumstances that she is engaged, its a recipe for disaster.

I decided to come clean with ibu and ayah, they both realized I was different then before. They understood me, and they even gave me a "Green Light" to get married if i really need to =) hee hee. To have that assurance, it just gives you hope! They understood my feelings, at the same time acknowledge my need to preserve my deen and dignity. Oh Ayub, you're so dumb =) Given the idea of early marriage are not too keen by culture and society, i was quite amaze that ibu ayah gave that response with a very casual face, so cool and seems almost carefree.

...

And to you, yes you! I dunno how long will this go on for me, but know this. You suck! boo hoo! =P Have a good life ahead and be rest assure that he is a good guy to begin with. I'll be alright.

...

This cover song goes to AyahIbuImanAzyan! Thnx for all your support and for pampering me since i was a baby until I'm a "big baby". and best of all, thanks for the "Green Card". but I'll try my best to be financially stable on my own before jump into those last resort.

and oh yuh, need to update "The List" =P Tralala

Salam,
aj.

Letting Go.

2011-06-21T01:43:00.000+08:00

And [yet], among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals [to Him]. They love them as they [should] love Allah .

But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah ...

[Holy Quran 2:165]

Fool's Errand

2011-06-14T04:35:00.002+08:00

Why do I always yearn for what is not mine.
Am i losing faith to those lofty gardens.
The promised land of the faithful one.
Where serene rivers never run dry.
Where blissful rays of light warms up for eternity.
Just enough not too scorch even a slight.
Neither its too cold to arouse displeasure.
Living in majestic castles and owning the vast beauty,
as far as eyes can see.
The sound of the garden that soothes and never grief.
Beautiful maiden playing and singing until heart slumbers into deep serenity.
Eloquent speech that never tire when those beautiful words flawlessly drop
Like drops of pearl and dew.
Knowing it was only versed just for me.
Especially for me.
Playing with friends and families, and beautiful companions,
Heaving away with white horses, the hair is glowing white,
Flawlessly galloping to find resting place under a tree.
Never will i be alone nor disdained.
Never will i be ignored nor disliked.
Never will i be hungry nor thirsty.

For every goodness and beauty in this world there is to combine,
none can match even a glimmering gemstone on the eye of those young child
Young child that will keep me company. Cuddling and running around me.
Joking and laughing all day long waiting for the next good thing to come.
Where next good thing will surpass those feelings in precedent.

And most of all, the ultimate pleasure.
The pleasure of pondering on His Almighty's face,
The One who been giving me life,
Gave me purpose and power in every heart beat,
Bestowed upon me pleasure of smiles and laughter,
Relieving me through tears and heavenly night rest.
Grant me the pleasure of the scent of flower and fragrance.
Seeding loves and sacrifices in Ibu's heart,
so that i may be loved and cared upon,
with endless kisses and hugs with warmth and sincerity.
Soothing me with her calming voice when ever I'm troubled and feeling hopeless.
Nurturing light and goodness in Ayah's heart,
that encourage me through all the struggles,
Struggles in manifesting good deeds,
In times of darkness
In times of insecurity
When people not appreciating nor understanding
and to kiss my sleepless night every Fajar on my forehead
while hugging me warmly and tightly
Easing the hardship of being a faithful servant
Every dawn of the day
And all the goodness and guidance in this world,
Endless Joy and Bliss would be just to glimpse on His Almighty's Face.

...

Time and Time Again.
We fail and we forget.
We lose hope in what tomorrow bring.
Hasty and insincere we are in life and its pleasure.
We drawn to it like there is no tomorrow.
Dancing and parading in our fake mask.
Satisfied with life and it's deceiving hopes and dreams.
While thousands lay quiet and hopeless in the womb of the earth,
Regretting that their whole life devoted to nothing.
All the sweat, tears and blood of life's trials,
Was only a mirage to the simple truth.
The very fact that every soul shall account to their faith and their deeds.
In front of their lord.

...

And tonight,
I see fate of mine no different of the fate of those who passed before me.
While my soul perpetually yearning and screaming for world's pleasure.
I am going to let it all go now.
And wake up from those deep slumbers.
Things are going to change.
Tonight, is a rebirth.
Reviving those natural self disposition.
Relieving what was then lost.
To forever live the true purpose of life.
To be a subservient servant of God.
To acknowledge every blessing.
To inspire goodness and heavenly virtue.
Not a rebirth to perfection.
But aspiring to perfection.
For no one may be certain of what tomorrow lies for son of a man.
But God is forever just and merciful.

...

Forgive me Allah.
You are the most Kind and Benevolent.
Accept me once again.
Purify this tainted heart.
Strengthen me through life's challenge.
Until the moment of everlasting return.

Lobbyist

2011-06-11T01:50:00.000+08:00

lob·by·ist [lob-ee-ist]
noun
a person who tries to influence legislation on behalf of a special interest.

...

Capitalism and Democracy at its best.

Exam Tips #1

2011-06-06T01:14:00.001+08:00

Dan wahai kaumku! Mintalah ampun kepada Tuhan kamu, kemudian kembalilah taat kepadaNya, supaya Ia menghantarkan kepada kamu hujan lebat serta menambahkan kamu kekuatan di samping kekuatan kamu yang sedia ada; dan janganlah kamu membelakangkan seruanku dengan terus melakukan dosa!

[HQ 11:52]

...

Rahmat tuhan akan turun bercucuran.
Diri yang kuat, akan bertambah kuat.
Buat hamba-hambanya yang bertaubat, dan kembali menaatiNya.
Maha Suci Allah dari segala kata-kata dusta.
Moga kita istiqamah dalam pertaubatan

...

Doalah terus menerus dengan penuh pengharapan:

Allahumma zakkirna, min huma nasiina
(Ya Allah, Ingatkanlah kami apa yang telah kami lupai)
Wa'allimna, min huma jahilna
(Dan didiklah apa yang kami jahilkan)

amin.

....

Pesanku, buat diriku. Sebelum yang lain.

Exam Tips #1

2011-06-06T01:12:00.002+08:00

Dan wahai kaumku! Mintalah ampun kepada Tuhan kamu, kemudian kembalilah taat kepadaNya, supaya Ia menghantarkan kepada kamu hujan lebat serta menambahkan kamu kekuatan di samping kekuatan kamu yang sedia ada; dan janganlah kamu membelakangkan seruanku dengan terus melakukan dosa!

[HQ 11:52]

...

Rahmat tuhan akan turun bercucuran.
Diri yang kuat, akan bertambah kuat.
Buat hamba-hambanya yang bertaubat, dan kembali menaatiNya.
Maha Suci Allah dari segala kata-kata dusta.
Moga kita istiqamah dalam pertaubatan

...

Doalah terus menerus dengan penuh pengharapan:

Allahumma zakkirna, min huma nasiina
(Ya Allah, Ingatkanlah kami apa yang telah kami lupai)
Wa'allimna, min huma jahilna
(Dan didiklah apa yang jahilkan)

amin.

....

Pesanku, buat diriku. Sebelum yang lain.

Exam Tips #1

2011-06-06T01:10:00.000+08:00

Dan wahai kaumku! Mintalah ampun kepada Tuhan kamu, kemudian kembalilah taat kepadaNya, supaya Ia menghantarkan kepada kamu hujan lebat serta menambahkan kamu kekuatan di samping kekuatan kamu yang sedia ada; dan janganlah kamu membelakangkan seruanku dengan terus melakukan dosa!

[HQ 11:52]

...

Rahmat tuhan akan turun bercucuran.
Diri yang kuat, akan bertambah kuat.
Buat hamba-hambanya yang bertaubat, dan kembali menaatiNya.
Maha Suci Allah dari segala kata-kata dusta.
Moga kita istiqamah dalam pertaubatan

...

Doalah terus menerus dengan penuh pengharapan:

Allahumma zakkirna, min huma nasiina
(Ya Allah, Ingatkanlah kami apa yang telah kami lupai)
Wa'allimna, min huma jahilna
(Dan didiklah apa yang jahilkan)

amin.

....

Pesanku, buat diriku. Sebelum yang lain.

Productive Muslim : Just Go Do It

2011-06-05T07:36:00.000+08:00

TEP 331 Revision

2011-06-02T23:50:00.000+08:00

on cooling fin goes like this...

Featuring : Azmir, Udin and Azureen

If today was your last day

2011-05-30T15:25:00.000+08:00

Life is a mere test of faith.

2011-05-29T23:16:00.000+08:00

In the Name of Allah,The most Gracious and Most Merciful

20:115
And We had already taken a promise from Adam before, but he forgot; and We found not in him determination.

20:116
And [mention] when We said to the angels, "Prostrate to Adam," and they prostrated, except Iblees; he refused.

20:117
So We said, "O Adam, indeed this is an enemy to you and to your wife. Then let him not remove you from Paradise so you would suffer.

20:118
Indeed, it is [promised] for you not to be hungry therein or be unclothed.

20:119
And indeed, you will not be thirsty therein or be hot from the sun."

20:120
Then Satan whispered to him; he said, "O Adam, shall I direct you to the tree of eternity and possession that will not deteriorate?"

20:121
And Adam and his wife ate of it, and their private parts became apparent to them, and they began to fasten over themselves from the leaves of Paradise. And Adam disobeyed his Lord and erred.

20:122
Then his Lord chose him and turned to him in forgiveness and guided [him].

20:123
[ Allah ] said, "Descend from Paradise - all, [your descendants] being enemies to one another. And if there should come to you guidance from Me - then whoever follows My guidance will neither go astray [in the world] nor suffer [in the Hereafter].

20:124
And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind."

20:125
He will say, "My Lord, why have you raised me blind while I was [once] seeing?"

20:126
[ Allah ] will say, "Thus did Our signs come to you, and you forgot them; and thus will you this Day be forgotten."

20:127
And thus do We recompense he who transgressed and did not believe in the signs of his Lord. And the punishment of the Hereafter is more severe and more enduring.

[Holy Quran : Chapter Taha 20 : 115 - 127]

...

"Descend from Paradise - all, [your descendants] being enemies to one another. And if there should come to you guidance from Me - then whoever follows My guidance will neither go astray [in the world] nor suffer [in the Hereafter]".

Ukhwah Menjangkaui Jemaah

2011-05-24T21:19:00.000+08:00

Kerana manusia berukhwah atas dasar aqidah.
Manakala gerak kerja jemaah perkara furu'iyah.
Jangan bagi alasan tak mampu berukhwah kerana berlainan jemaah.
Jikalau ya, tak kuranglah dari pegangan jahiliyah.
Bertunggakkan asabiyah.
Bukan lagi atas dasar aqidah.
Melainkan, kita merasa, jemaah lain tak seaqidah.
Nauzubillah.

....

Allah SWT berfirman

“Hanyalah orang-orang beriman yang memiliki ukhuwah”. [Al-Hujurat:10]

....

Nabi saw bersabda:

“Seorang muslim adalah saudara dengan muslim lainnya, tidak boleh menzhaliminya, tidak membiarkannya, tidak merendahkannya dan menghinakannya”. - [Bukhari Muslim].

“Perumpamaan orang-orang beriman dalam kasih sayang, cinta kasih dan empati adalah seperti satu tubuh, jikasalah satu tubuh darinya mengadu pada suatu penyakit maka anggota tubuh lainnya akan merasa sakit dan begadang”. - [Bukhari Muslim]

....

“Yang sangat maksud dengan ukhuwah adalah: mengikatnya hati-hati dan jiwa-jiwa ini dengan ikatan aqidah, dan aqidah merupakan ikatan yang paling kokoh dan paling mahal harganya, dan ukhuwah adalah saudara keimanan, sementara perpecahan adalah teman dari kekufuran, kekuatan yang utama adalah persatuan dan tidak ada persatuan tanpa cinta, dan cinta paling rendah adalah lapang dada, sementara yang paling tinggi adalah itsar " - [Imam Hassan Al-Banna]

....

Hentikan Perpecahan Atas Dasar Jemaah !
Usaha Perkuatkan Ukhwah Walau Berlainan Jemaah !
Satukan Hati-Hati atas Dasar Aqidah, Bukan Sekadar Jemaah !
Keluarkan Diri Dari Mentaliti Purba,
dan Mara Bersama Menuju Kebangkitan Sedunia !

Rasulullah SAW pernah bersabda,

“Jauhilah kalian akan buruk sangka, karena buruk sangka adalah sedusta-dusta ucapan, dan janganlah kalian saling menduga-duga, jangan saling mengintai, jangan saling hasad, jangan saling berkonspirasi, jangan saling benci (marah), namun jadilah kalian hamba Allah yang saling bersaudara“. - [Bukhari Muslim]

Wisdom behind the name "Ayub"

2011-05-21T11:22:00.003+08:00

Throughout your life, I'm sure you'll have that moment when you always wonder why your name is as such. Or maybe its just me. I always wonder why my brother's name is Muhammad Amirul Iman. but mine is just. Ayub. Just simple and plain. Ayub.

When everyone since to have that cool nickname, mine have always been "Yeop". Witty in some sense but, Its always confusing when someone trying agree to something or is it me that they are calling. Other than "Yeop", arwah Uncle Zoob used to call me "Ah Chong", relatives used to call me "kalimutu", and during high school, Nirmala used to call me "a.j" not to confuse with my other long lost relative Ayub Hadi, so those two alphabets seems to stuck with me all the way to Uni. Despite many still call me, ayub =) exception for Butet still calling me "kelubi"

It starting to becomes apparent why its Ayub when I reached my mid teen, i become hot headed, hot tempered and rebellious. I do not know whats wrong with me, I just developed this "God knows where it came from" character. Ibu always remind me of how i should exemplify Allah's Prophet Ayub (AS) through observing patience, and she did an amazing job in managing my internal rage. Guidance has always been a blessing.

Now when i reached early twenties, i found another wisdom behind my name being Ayub.

So that i could name my child. Salahuddin.
For if I fail. He could continue the legacy.
Legacy of Islamic Revival throughout history.

So my dear son, if you stumble upon this later on in your life.
and if I'm gone before I can say you this. Know this.

Your name is, Salahuddin Al-Ayyubi.
The Just ruler of Palestine.
Born for victory. or martyrdom

"...Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example(imam) for the righteous."
[Holy Quran 25:74]

Amin!
Takbir !! ALLAHU AKBAR !!

Softening the heart

2011-05-21T00:29:00.000+08:00

He is Allah , other than whom there is no deity, Knower of the unseen and the witnessed. He is the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.

He is Allah , other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him.

He is Allah , the Creator, the Inventor, the Fashioner; to Him belong the best names. Whatever is in the heavens and earth is exalting Him. And He is the Exalted in Might, the Wise.

[Holy Quran 59:22-24]

Tinta Palestina 4 : Memperingati Nakbah - 63

2011-05-19T16:29:00.001+08:00

3 percent

2011-05-18T04:06:00.000+08:00

13 years of Da'wah Rasulullah in Makkah, 300 out of 10,000 supported his (PBUH) cause, only 3% despite the 13 long years of insults, slanders, killings, and physical and emotional oppression.

Sabar wahai dai'e. teruskan berjuang, mengingatkan manusia pada aqidah yang salim. Ingatkan diri dan manusia tentang hakikat penciptaan kita. Ingatkan diri dan manusia akan kesempurnaan Pencipta. Ingatkanlah diri dan manusia kepada hari pembalasan. Ingatkan diri manusia kepada Risalah yang lengkap dan ingatkanlah manusia kepada jalan-jalan syurga. Dan terangilah jalan-jalan jahiliyah dengan obor ketauhidan yang tidak akan padam selamanya.

Raihlah senyuman harapan di penghujung hidup dan lafazkan dengan penuh ikhlas, "La ilaha illallah. Muhammadun Rasulullah" Allah sebagai saksi kita, dan redha kita hanya pada Allah. Hidayah kekal milik Allah. Dan kita hanya hamba yang menerima suruhan.

Patience is the key. Be patients in enduring life's challenge, because you are the best of all mankind.

Singa dan Rusa

2011-05-15T04:50:00.000+08:00

Berjayalah,
Singa yang berlari setiap hari, mencari makanannya.
Rusa yang berlari setiap hari, menyelamatkan dirinya.

Binasalah,
Singa yang tidur dikala singa lain belari mencari makan.
Rusa yang tidur dikala rusa lain berlari menyelamatkan diri.

....

Begitu juga kita,
adakalanya manusia mencari makan seperti singa, terus bermadiri dan meraja di rimba.
adakalanya manusia lari dari bahaya seperti rusa, terus hidup tanpa menjadi mangsa.

Sedang fahsya dan kemungkaran berlari mengusahakan agenda kehancurannya,
Binasalah da'ie yang tidur dan tidak berlari untuk bermandiri.
Binasalah diri yang tidur dan tidak berlari untuk menyelamatkan diri.

Kerana.
Di zaman ini, kemungkaran tidak pernah lagi berhenti berlari mengejar mangsa.

...

SO WAKE UP MAN! .... AND RUN!

Work your Agenda of Righteousness!
Cure the grief. Cure the greed. Cure the sorrow. Cure the disease.
of living 9 to 5 just to pay debt.
of living 9 to 5 just to work 9 to 5.
of living 9 to 5 just to find that hopeful dream is mere illusion.
Wake the Sons of Adam, that life is only a test of faith.
of the lost soul displaced from the highest place.
You are the torchbearer, and you will bear the pain.
Bear the challenge of illuminating the darkness full of slained.

You are muslim. You are servant of God. You are da'ie.
You are the continuing generation of Prophet
You are the continuing generation of Sahabah
You are the continuing generation of Tabi'en
You are the continuing generation of Itba' Tabi'en
Stand proud spreading the Oneness of Allah,
Through akhlaq and sunnah of Rasulullah.
Not fearing of anything other than the one.

So know, [O Muhammad], that there is no God except Allah and ask forgiveness for your sin and for the believing men and believing women. And Allah knows of your movement and your resting place.
[Holy Quran Muhammad :19]

Now would be the best time

2011-05-14T01:10:00.001+08:00

To think of you. If only you guys know how much i need your hugs and kisses right now.

Oh noes. I miss all the pampering. ='(

On the other hand. 2 things that i miss so badly.

1) Subway
2) .... Having a hair. =B

...

Tralala.

Abu Talhah Radiyallahu 'Anhu says:

"We complained to Rasulullah Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam about the severe pangs of hunger, and showed him the stones fastened on our stomachs. A stone was fastened on the stomach of every one of us due to severe hunger. Rasulullah Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam showed us two stones fastened onto his stomach". (Sayyidina Rasulullah Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam experienced more hunger than we did, and he had spent a longer period than us since he had last eaten).

[Syamail Muhammadiyah - Imam Tirmidhi]

Allahumma salli a'la Muhammad. May peace and blessing be upon thee, Ya Abal Qasim. We miss you so very badly.

Those One Words 2011

2011-05-12T22:56:00.000+08:00

Saya cintakan kawan. Maka, saya akan semadikan Those One Words. Here goes, one words for all of you hommies.

Azmir - MalaysiaKini
Udin - Ust.Azhar
Amin - Smarty
Nodon - ScooterBaru
Azam - AbangAzam
Hafiz - GoalyOfTheCentury
Mamat - SenangPeluk
Dhimas - Handyman
Nazri - Efact
Izzat - BaitulMuslim
Afif - TAH
Shadad - KudaKristar
Nizwan - Klaka
Miqdad - ThumbsUp
Tajul - Politik (MusuhKetatAzmir)
Anep - KamcingHelmet (Guro je) hmmph.. Cute?
Usop - Gym
Yazid - Menghilang
NaqiJPA - 135LC
Naqi - HampirEksiden
Farouk - CiliPadi
Andy - Baik
Afo - EyeLash
Mirul - TakBolehKejar
JiJi - Raja2T
Kash - komputerPerancis
Syd - Fixie
Fazeel - MujahidMaldive
Hasnat - FootballManager
Anis - Politik (sekutu azmir)
Mek - KepokGentel
Jeng - JENGJENGJENG
Syafiq Razak - HarapanAgama
Rashad - Kerol.V2.0
.
.
AyubJamil- ?

Botak. Kueh Kueh Kueh =D

Palestine 101 : Humantiy & Crisis

2011-05-11T07:40:00.002+08:00

...

Hasanat bergantung pada kesungguhan dan keikhlasan. Wallahua'lam

When all else fails.

2011-05-10T23:09:00.000+08:00

"... And whoever fears Allah, He will make for him a way out And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent "

[Holy Quran, At-Talaq 65:2-3]

Wahai tuhan, kafarahkanlah kesalahan lamaku, setiap manusia ada tempatnya. Dan aku berharap, tempatku disisiMu. Senantiasa dan selamanya.

Benarkan aku berkata, Inni Akhafullah. Dan benarkan aku berpegang pada janjiku padaMu. Sesungguhnya kami hambaMu yang bertaubat.

Terima Kasih Ya Allah.
Terima Kasih Akhi Saiful.
Terima Kasih Azmir.
Terima Kasih Izzat. Afif. Shadad. Nizwan.

Terimalah kembali diriku.

2011-05-09T03:44:00.002+08:00

Dear you,

2011-05-07T18:42:00.000+08:00

Are we not contempt with what God gave us all?
Pasturing herds of sheep on a forbidden land.
Devouring green grasses and grazing scented flowers.
Mustering sorrow in the hearts of children of heaven with traces of petals.
In every path the sheep herded

Our lives has been destined in a divine circumstances.
Is it right to succumb to fallacious feelings?
Only when uncertain doubt over lapse mountains of vague hope.
Promise had been made. And promise to God are to keep.

Only one heart will break tonight.
Let it not be the innocent one.
For the non-deserving one have not deserved.
And those herds are still lingering.
Lingering vague hope of bliss and prosperity in those forbidden land.

Young and elderly chanting feast.
Chanting feast, in pleasing Almighty.
Opening door to what was before closed.
Cloaking heart from straying arrows.
Closing chapter to those endless search.

Give them their rights of joyful feast.
Fulfill every single promise there is to keep.
And be contempt with every blessings.
As feelings are lucid, hope is uncertain.

What are gowning bride without doubt.
While giving in to certainty often surmount to grievance.
Why give up honey and olive,
for a coarse bread hoping to taste the same.

Faithful servant will always unveil wisdom.
Behind those divine circumstances.
Groom those seven pounds for the feast.
Seal down the doubt. and Drift them to sea.

For I'll look ever forward. and never look back.
and you should too.

Ultimate Pleasure

2011-05-06T18:11:00.001+08:00

Thanks UmmFared

Jatuh Cinta Lagi.

2011-05-06T01:25:00.000+08:00

Assalamu'alaikum. Ingin diriku admit. Bahawasanya, hari ini aku jatuh cinta lagi. Allah!!! Kenapa Ya Allah ?!! Kenapa mereka terlalu baik. Hari ini, aku ingin mengingat kembali dan mencatat kebaikan manusia yang ikhlas di jalan Allah, yang dimana diri-diri mereka telah memilih jalan untuk mencintai diriku, kerana cintanya yang tulus murni dan tidak berbelah bagi kepada Allah Yang Maha Pengasih.

Hari ini ada seorang ikhwah dari semenanjung datang mengunjungi kami, demi memenuhi jemputan yang last minute, kami pun bersiap-siap dengan tergesa ke tempat pertemuan, dengan pilot yang tak cukup credit, dan seorang lagi masih di bandar, kami pun cuba sedaya upaya untuk tiba tepat pada masanya. Dengan takdir Allah, dalam kami bergegas, terdapat dua buah kereta yang tersadai di tepi jalan dan sedang kami mengejar trafik light yang hampir kuning, dengan tiba-tiba hilux yang berhenti tukar lane. Bergegarlah bandar miri dengan bunyi skid tayar kereta kebal iswara aeroback yang ikhwah Curtin sering manfaatkan dalam kerja dakwah. "Pom!" tercium punggung Hilux.

Aduh!!!. Bagaimana ni. Dengan takdir Allah, pemilik Hilux tu membuka pintu sebesar 5 cm untuk 3 saat. dan kemudian menutupnya kembali seolah tiada rasa ingin tahu dan keinginan menuntut ganti rugi. Persoalannya,"jeng jeng jeng" kenapa dia tidak mahu keluar dan menuntut ganti rugi, malahan tengok tempat ciuman pun enggan. Maha suci Allah yang mengerakkan hati-hati manusia. Biarlah misteri tersebut Allah yang sahaja yang mengetahui.

Kemudian, kami semua gusar sebentar, apa yang hendak dikatakan kepada naqib, kereta yang dia pinjamkan asalnya baik rupa paras, mempunyai kening baru sepanjang 5 cm. Allah, tidak mengapa balik dari sharing session kelak, kami sudah berpakat ramai hantar mesej tanpa memberitahu siapa driver yang bertanggungjawab. Kalau kena marah pun, jangan sorang-sorang kena.

Sharing session oleh ikhwah berumur lebih 40 tahun tersebut sangat menyuntik jiwa. Husnuzan nya dan optimisnya diri beliau dapatku rasakan dalam ketenangan atur bicaranya dan senyumnya yang tidak putus. What a warm feeling vibe. Beliau membina tanpa perlu mengkritik, tadi, aku benar-benar merasakan adnan sempit telah mengeluarkan ungkapan yang tepat. "Dalam hati ada taman". dan, Taman hatiku telah berbunga sehinga aku merasakan embun dari bunga-bunga itu bakal mengalir dikelopak kelopak mataku. Allah. Kalau diceritakan di post ni, novel la jawabnya. Mahasuci Allah yang melahirkan didunia manusia yang hanif dan tulus untuk aku terus berjumpa dan merasakan cinta mereka.

Tidak cukup dangan itu, cara peluknya lain dari kebanyakan ikhwah, kebiasaanya, ikhwah akan salam dengan tangan kanannya, dan terus memegang tangannya sedang mecium pipi kiri dan kanan. Berlainan dengan beliau, disalam dahulu tangan, kemudian memeluk dengan meletakkan kedua tangan di belakang, di garapnya tidak terlalu keras, tanpa menimbulkan ketidak selesaan, dipeluknya tidak terlalu lembut, tanpa timbul rasa kejanggalan. Penuh rasa hormat, penuh rasa kasih sayang, penuh rasa ukhwah. AAaaaaa. Jatuh cinta lagi. Cukup-cukup. tak tahan asyik dicintai, kerana cinta seperti itu tak mampu untuk dibalas.

Setamat perjumpaan yang agak lewat. Kami pun menuju ke Selera Rasa Segar, antara beberapa restoran halal yang bukak 24/7 di Miri. Kebanyakan kami berpuasa, cuma tak sempat dinner. So kena lah tebus talak. Malam ni tak boleh makan burger, semalam dinner dah makan burger. Kena jaga pemakanan. Ustaz Saifulislam menyedarkan diriku tentang aset terbesar dakwah. Kesihatan. So nak tak nak, makan dekat bandar jugak. Sesat sana sini, jumpa juga SRS, eh itu bukan kereta cikgu Amir. Jumpa lagi ikhwah, rupanya, diorang pun baru nak dinner, Subhanallah. So dalam makan-makan itu, saya order makanan yang sedap-sedap, tetapi duduk berasingan meja sebab tak muat. Pastu tahu-tahu, Cikgu Amir dah belanja. YA ALLAHHH!!! KENAPA BAIK SANGAT IKHWAH IKHWAH NI. Aku jatuh cinta lagi.

Dalam makan-makan, hint dekat Izzat, macama mana ni, nak bagitahu naqib? sms je la ramai-ramai tentatng accdent tu. Dengan kehebatan ayat-ayat yang disusun rapi dengan hati yang berdebar-debar memikirkan apa respon yang akan diberi.

Message replied "Wasalam, ok noted, Alhamdulillah, antum semua selamat." Tak tanya pasal kereta, tak tanya pasal insuran, respon pertama adalah "antum" ...ha~!
"ANTUM"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! tidakkkkk !!! Aku Jatuh Cinta Lagi. Kenapa perlu dicintai sebegini rupa. Selama aku di Sarawak sekian lama, tiada manusia yang mampu mencintai diriku sepertimana cinta ikhwah.

T________________T ... berjujuran air mata.

kenapa baik sangat ikhwah ni. Semalam hampir menangis aku hendak cerita tentang pengorbanan ikhwah dekat liqa jemputan. YA ALLAH. Janganlah engkau sia-siakan usaha mereka dengan menjadikan aku fitnah kepada agamaMu.

Apa kira aku bertemu dengan Rasulullah. Aku sedar mengapa manusia sanggup bermatian demi Allah dan Rasulnya. Jikalau aku disuap Rasulullah walau sekali, aku takkan mengharapkan makanan yang lain melainkan makanan yang disuap Rasulullah.

full stop. tak boleh teruskan. takut menangis lagi.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Abu Hurairah meriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda ketika menziarahi kubur, yang bermaksud: “Semoga kesejahteraan dilimpahkan kepada kamu semua wahai orang beriman. Dan sesungguhnya kami insya-Allah akan menyusul kamu.

Lalu Nabi SAW bersabda: Aku teringin sangat melihat saudara kita. Sahabat bertanya: Bukankah kami adalah saudaramu ya Rasulullah? Rasulullah SAW bersabda: Kamu semua adalah sahabatku, sedangkan saudaraku ialah mereka yang belum datang. Aku adalah jaminan yang akan membawa mereka ke telaga.

Sahabat bertanya lagi: Ya Rasulullah, bagaimana kamu mengetahui umatmu yang akan datang selepasmu? Rasulullah SAW bersabda: Bukankah kalian mengetahui mengenai seseorang yang memiliki kuda dengan tanda putih di dahinya di antara kuda yang sangat hitam? Apakah ia boleh mengenali kudanya? Para sahabat menjawab: Ya.

Baginda SAW bersabda: Mereka akan datang pada hari kiamat dengan wajah yang putih cemerlang kerana bekas air wuduk.”

(Hadis riwayat al-Nasa’i, Ibnu Majah, Malik, Baihaqi disahihkan oleh al-Albani)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

wallahua'lam,
wasalam.

Tinta Palestina #3

2011-05-04T09:21:00.000+08:00

Tinta Palestina #1 >> Here
Tinta Palestina #2 >> Here

Tinta Palestina #2

2011-05-04T09:18:00.002+08:00

Tinta Palestina #1

2011-05-04T09:17:00.000+08:00

Owh. Tempting

2011-05-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

Gmail Entry : 4th May 2011
Tempting.Tempting Indeed.
Azmir!!!!!

Palestine - Sound of Reason

2011-05-01T17:48:00.000+08:00

Close my eyes tonight
My conscience by my side
It’s hard to live this life
Where truth begins with lies

So I won’t sleep… I will stay awake
Cause if I dream… they will/then they’ll take their claim
Oh I try… oh I try to fight
To stay awake tonight
Palestine, Palestine, Palestine… always on my mind

Truth is where desire ends
A meaning to an end
I search myself all the time
To change what’s in my mind

So I won’t sleep… I will stay awake
Cause if I dream… they will/then they’ll take their claim
Oh I try… oh I try to fight
To stay awake tonight
Palestine, Palestine, Palestine… always on my mind

I can’t find peace cause it’s hard to release what we’ve done
What we could be if we’d only see what we’ve become
It’s unbelievable it’s undeniable ohhhh!
I want free, won’t sleep, won’t dream, won’t eat, won’t breathe
Won’t give in to what’s building inside of me

Close my eyes tonight
My conscience by my side

The Coneheads

2011-04-29T15:03:00.001+08:00

What are words - The Jajan

2011-04-29T00:53:00.000+08:00

Ibu Ayah Azyan Iman.I will always love you.
May Allah bless you foerever and always.

luv,
aj.

Thank You Allah

2011-04-27T20:19:00.000+08:00

Kita Gempur Ke Hujungnya !!!

2011-04-26T18:31:00.000+08:00

Always Be There - Me ft. Max & Maya

2011-04-25T05:03:00.000+08:00

Sanged by : Mua
Barked by : Max & Maya

p/s: do sing along.

Lunch with The Salleh's and Balqies

2011-04-23T17:53:00.002+08:00

DapoerBandung with TheSalleh's and Balqies. Thus the fattening regime of KL break started! Oh Noes!

What say you?

2011-04-22T01:23:00.000+08:00

Assalamu'alaikum dear brothers and sisters.

All praise due to Allah for great blessing of longevity and happiness, and upon His blessed prophets from the first to the end of them.

Past weeks have been very challenging, and tomorrow I'll be seeing Iman and Azyan for about a week. How are you Ibu and Ayah? I hope you are fine over there. InshaAllah, will be picking up Ibu and Ayah at the airport on Sunday with suprise(s)!

...

Over here in Lakeside we have a new friend. He spends alot of time in front of the building talking to himself. He always seat alone on the bench smoking and at times he'll start talking to himself and sometimes arguing alone to himself. Me personally, I do not find him to be disturbing, despite he is 3 times my size, but the residents were afraid of him. People were standing hidden from his sight and ignoring him.

I always wonder how did he end up this way. Stress? Trauma? God knows what he went through. Child abuse probably. Lost of parents perhaps? Wallahu a'lam. Long after, I heard the story from an in house guard, he said he came to Miri and upon seeing NO DRUGS ALLOWED sign in airport, he ditched his medication and did not manage to get medication over here in Miri as replacement.

One day I decided to have a nice decent talk with him. I Hi-ed him and likewise. But the conversation dint go far, because he starts to communicate in Broken Nigerian English, far from my linguistic ability. Every time I saw him alone sitting on a bench in rain and in cold serene after fajr, i'll have a moment to myself and start ponder how much Allah blessed me with health, mentally and physically and I've realized how easy Allah allow me to have friend. Some people in life are not so lucky as I am, people ignore him, people shunt him.

Today, after finished playing futsal, it was 11.30 pm, coincidentally Me and Hafiz wanted to lube ourselves with nice cold drinks, and there he was chilling at the motorbike place alone. He asked to give him a lift and take him together. At this point i literally had myself split into two. Apart of me wanted to pick him up and take him together with us to CTR. Another part of me had a one big doubt whether it is safe to do so, what if he suddenly went into rage on the bike. Late at night, theres no one on the street. If anything were to happen no one will know.

So I asked him a question which I know the answer to it. "Do you have helmet?" and I know well that he will not have one, and thus the answer was presumed to be a "No". But i have one helmet in the box which I did not offer him.

Now, I'm in ONE big dilemma. Was I right to do so. Was I fair. Is this the prophet's way? Was my judgement right? Apart of me is guilty to the point i need to write this down. What if he is just dead hungry and in need of food. He deserve friendship just as I am. He deserve good food, good times just as I do. Was I too paranoid of everything.

He is my neighbour, I see the question of Jannah and An-Nar revolves around him

Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

The best friend in the sight of Allah is he who is the well-wisher of his companions, and the best neighbour is one who behaves best towards his neighbours. Transmitted by Tirmidhi.

Ayub. What have you done. Sigh.
Guys. What say you?

Aku punya.

2011-04-18T01:11:00.000+08:00

Tapi mereka?

Cita Cita Tertinggi

2011-04-16T01:51:00.001+08:00

Omar Mukhtar

Ahmad Yassin

=)

2011-04-16T00:14:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-2KXykC_tY&feature=related

Allah adalah tujuan kami !

2011-04-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

CeramahPalestin.
Ahad.17/4/2011.8.30AM.
CurtinSarawak.LectureTheater.

-------------------------------------------------------//
Merah Saga

Saat langit berwarna merah saga
Dan kerikil perkasa berlarian
Meluncur laksana puluhan peluru
Terbang bersama teriakan takbir

Semua menjadi saksi
Atas langkah keberanianmu
Kita juga menjadi saksi
Atas keteguhanmu

Ketika yahudi-yahudi membantaimu
Merah berkesimbah ditanah airmu
Mewangi harum genangan darahmu
Membebaskan bumi jihad palestina

Perjuangan telah kau bayar
Dengan jiwa, syahid dalam cinta-NYA

-------------------------------------------------------//

@SyafiqAfifi : Wo ai ni.

How did we end up like this?

2011-03-31T22:36:00.000+08:00

What would I think about?
If Im stucked in a car ditched into a river,
Waiting for air to run out,
Gasping at nose height.

What would I think about?
If I'm on my death bed,
With worldly glories and powers in both hands,
Invested to nowhere except self destruction,
Unreachable arms length to fix what was then wrong,
and what is now aftermath.

What would I think about?
If I'm stucked in a lift,
On my way defying the Most High,
with blazing fire drowning me alive,
Wishing breathlessly,
That I wouldn't be here in the first place.

What would I think about?
Dying a good man,
God abiding wife and son,
Complex and houses with widows and orphans,

What would I think about?
Knees kissing dust,
Eyes blind,
Hands tight,
In front of a live barrel,
Reasoned in diminishing Truth and The One.
...
Waiting for a lively life,
Dawning from the pulpits of paradise.
Whiffing the sweetest of perfume,
Soul flowing out like a calm water,
Flying high to the One whom my whole life devoted to,
Angels stretched out from the two horizons
Opening up the gates of the sky,
Magnified afterlife,
Belittling what was then an endless pain and suffering of life

What would I think about?

What would life be about?

Oh Restless Body and Soul.
How did we end up like this?

Monologue 1.0

2011-03-30T14:39:00.001+08:00

Dengan hati sebersih embun,
Diairi sebening mata air,
Menyerah keluhurun nurani,
Mengharap kemaafan sebesar semesta,
Berbayar amal senipis air celupan di jari,

Terus-menerus memohon dan merayu,
Agar dibuka seluas ufuk pintu di hati,
Mengharapkan nur Ilahi,
Menyerap dan menerangi celahan-celahan,
celahan-celahan dan lipatan kegelapan dahulu,
Yang mekar dengan duri-duri nafsu,

Wahai diri,
Tidakkah engkau mendengar teriakan hati,
Teriakan mengharap pembebasan,
Dari kelemasan jahiliah berbelenggu nafsu,
Dibinatangkan serendah-rendah martabat,

Daun yang satu masa dahulu hijau,
Kini semakin layu,
Semakin menguning,
Menanti untuk jatuh ke bumi,

Dalam pencarian ini,
Aku akan terus berlari dan terus berlari,
Mencari dan memartabat hakiki,
Berlari dan terus berlari,
Yang tidak serik dengan simpuh dan seliuh,
Luka lutut dan kaki,
Lebam siku dan pipi,
Sakit dan pilu ditelan mengharap redha Ilahi,

Aku tahu dan aku pasti,
satu hari nanti aku pasti, aku tidak lagi mampu berlari,
tapi aku akan terus merangkak,
dan moga kembalinya daku Ya Allah,
Dengan carikan terakhirku menuju syurgaMu.
Fisabilillah InshaAllah.

Freedom

2011-03-28T19:59:00.002+08:00

Memoir of Mukhayyam Miri 2011

2011-03-25T11:30:00.003+08:00

UKHUWAH yang terbina bersama..
takkan pernah untuk di lupa..
tak terlintas untuk dibiarkan begitu saja..

malah,
tak sanggup untuk membiarkan ianya menyepi walaupun hanya seketika..
di dalamnya ada gelak ketawa..
penuh dengan gurauan senda..
terselit juga sedih duka..

namun,
semua itu takkan mampu untuk kita ulangi kembali..
semua yang berlalu,
biarkan saja ia berlalu pergi..

tapi,
sentiasalah sematkan ukhuwah itu dihati..
doa tak putus-putus sesama diri..
peringatan demi peringatan sentiasa diberi..
kerana kita berukhuwah bukan kerana duniawi..
tapi kerana ukhrawi..

yang kita sandarkan semua nya pada Illahi..

puisi oleh >> IslamItuIndah

3 men 1 Horse

2011-03-24T22:56:00.000+08:00

Recorded from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allah said,

(The horses are for three. For one man they are a reward, for another man they are a shield, and for another man they are a burden. In reference to the man for whom they are a reward, he is the man who keeps them to be used in the way of Allah. Thus, they spend their entire life grazing in the pasture or garden (waiting in preparation for Jihad). So whatever afflicts them during that lengthy period in the pasture or garden, it will be counted as good deeds for him. Then, if their lengthy period is ended and they are used for a noble battle or two, their hoof prints and their dung are counted as good deeds for him.When they passed through a stream from which they did drink, though he (their owner) does not intend to quench their thirst, yet, it would be counted as good deeds, Therefore, they are a reward for that man.

A man who keeps them to maintain himself and to be independent of others (i.e., begging, etc.), and he does not forget the right of Allah upon their necks and their backs (i.e., their Zakah), then they are a shield for him (from the Hellfire).

A man who keeps them in order to boast, brag and show off, then they are a burden for him (on Judgement Day).)

[Bukhari]

Oh Allah make us among people who solely submit their life and death to Your cause. And to die in your cause. Fi sabilillah. InshaAllah.

What is it worth?

2011-03-20T21:59:00.001+08:00

The Heart in Black and White

2011-03-15T02:31:00.000+08:00

Al-Nawwas bin Sam'an, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:

"Righteousness is good character, and sin is that which wavers in your heart and which you do not want people to know about."

[Muslim]

According to Wabisah bin Ma'bad, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said: I came to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, and he said:

"You have come to ask about righteousness ?" " Yes," I answered.

He said: "Consult your heart. Righteousness is that about which the soul feels tranquil and the heart feels tranquil, and sin is what creates restlessness in the soul and moves to and fro in the breast, even though people give you their opinion (in your favour) and continue to do so."

[Ahmad bin Hanbal and Al-Darimi]

Sincerity is The Wing of Act of Obedience

2011-03-13T12:48:00.001+08:00

Say: He is Allah, Absolute Oneness,

Allah, the Everlasting Sustainer of all.

He has not given birth and was not born.

And no one is comparable to Him

[Surah Al-Ikhlas : 1-4]

Jalaluddin Al Rumi once said:

You should be sincere in your deeds,

So that the Majestic Lord may accept them.

Sincerity is the wing of the bird of the acts of obedience.

Without a wing, how can you fly to the abode of prosperity?”